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IMDB rating: 5.70 Plot: The first crusade to free the Holy Land has ended. A mass of weary knights, squires, soldiers of fortune and priests are making their way home across a Europe that has changed forever. George, a handsome English knight, unsettled by the horrendous bloodletting he witnessed in Palestine, desires to hang up his sword and settle down to a quiet, peaceful life. On returning to England, George heads north where he’s heard the land is good and the population sparse and of a kindly King named Edgaar. He finds King Edgaar in a terrible state. His beautiful daughter, Lunna has recently disappeared. In return for a small plot of land, George agrees to search for Princess Lunna. With Edgaar’s faithful servant, Elmendorf, George sets out. George discovers both the princess and the truth behind her strange disappearance. The quest now set before them ends in a love, a lie and a legend that has lasted a thousand years. |
Actors: Duncan Michael Clarke,Castaldi Jean-Pierre,Purefoy James,Swayze Patrick,Treacher Bill,Weeks Rollo,Freeman Paul,Jurgens Stefan,McKee Phil,Callow Simon,Chase Carl,Action,Adventure,Comedy,Fantasy,Romance,Sci-Fi,
Teens: What are some of your favorite jokes?
I love this one (sorry it’s long, but I love it so much):
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.
Shannon the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Shannon revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Taylor, the Physician, King George’s chief doctor.
Taylor thought about this and said that he could arrange for Shannon to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Shannon readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Taylor made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen’s bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,
Taylor informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Shannon would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Shannon to their chambers. Taylor then slipped Shannon the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Shannon worked passionately on the Queen’s large and magnificent breasts.
The Queen’s itching was eventually relieved, and Shannon left satisfied and hailed as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Shannon found Taylor asking for his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied and knowing that Taylor could never report this matter to the King, Shannon couldn’t have cared less. With a laugh, Shannon told Taylor to get lost.
The next day, Taylor slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into King George
